RTP#35: Decode

No it's not a review about the song Decode by Paramore but I what I meant here is decoding the labels that I will going to use in this post. Actually I am supposed to blog about the remarkable days that I had this week. But I find myself composing a post about this thing that happened just a while ago.

I was playing Scrabble in FB earlier and turtle still is not yet home so 415 is still awake. While 415 is sitting on the couch near me she asked me what am I doing? And I replied that I am playing scrabble and I am very close on ending the game.

After the game I asked her about turtle and she said she don't care if she's going to go home because she haven't answered her calls. But what she wanted to talk to me about is the problem that I had which means in the past and I bet 90% of people in the world had a problem with this thing especially when it's a guy.

I was clearly not bothered by that problem at all. But the main point of hearing the doubts and being judged feels sort of frustrating for me. I am proud for myself that I was able to conquer that problem and still continuing to resist it every time it comes back. Because this problem will be around. And at some point when I was asked why can't I totally let go of it? What I really want to answer is this "I am a human". I can't answer like that even though I have some basis on that. Because it's 415 who am I talking to.

It was not a long talk actually but I just don't want being judged like that especially when I am really doing my part in resisting and pulverizing the opposition.

And lastly I want to apologize for giving you a hard time reading this one. Well it wasn't that hard actually consider this a game or whatsoever just to make it more interesting.